Now, before I go on I have to get this out of the way. No, I am not engaged, nor will I be anytime soon. I am 17 and my girlfriend is 16 and although we do like each other (a lot) we aren’t getting married anytime soon. We’ve recently had 4 people ask us if we were engaged or when our wedding was going to be. Ya’ll are crazy.

Anyways, I love marriage. I love reading different books about it, studying scriptures on it, having conversations with newlyweds and oldyweds. I love learning about love and respect and the difference between dating someone and being married to them.  I love it.

If you didn’t know me very much, I think that you can start to see that it is a dream of mine to one day get married. It’s something I am EXTREMELY passionate about and being a guy I obviously want to do everything as best I can and I don’t want to have a crummy marriage. Although I can’t be perfect and problem free, I do believe I can be a little bit more prepared than the average “Christian” dude who gets married.

All that to say this: Married men, you disgust me.

Seriously, you have a beautiful, loving, supporting, Godly, semi crazy wife and you treat her like garbage. You have the PRIVILEGE of being married! You have your BLESSING from God! You have your loved ONE to do life with and it’s as if you don’t even care.

I have so many friends who’s fathers don’t do anything but sit around and watch TV and complain when dinner isn’t ready when their hungry. Seriously, I could name 5 friends right now who can’t stand their dad because he’s a lazy, complaining, smelly, out of shape, bitter man. These are the men who go to church every Sunday, serve in multiple ministries, attend men’s conferences, teach Sunday school, speak in front of a congregation, ect. They are what would seem to be a “Godly man.”

It disgusts me.

If you can’t keep your wife and kids in love with you, you are not in the will of God. That’s it! No questions asked. If you are someone that your family is embarrassed about and someone who your wife doesn’t even want to have sex with, you are NOT a man of God.

Now, I know what pretty much everyone (especially the guys) want to say to me right now and that’s this. “Matt, you don’t get it! You still have a lot to learn and you’re not even considered an adult yet. You don’t know anything about marriage and you won’t until you’ve been in a marriage for at least 20 years. You need some experience under your belt before you can talk and point fingers at people.”

If that’s your thought process then I have this to say to you. I’ve kept my mouth shut for a while about a lot of things for that very reason. I used to think that I wasn’t allowed to talk about things that I haven’t experienced myself but then God revealed something to me that made me realize how wrong I was.

It doesn’t matter what the struggle, problem, situation, people, excuse or death is. God’s word IS always going to be TRUE. In other words, the bible tells us that we need to forgive. It is mentioned in quite a few places in the bible and has a parable or two about how we need to forgive our brothers and sisters. Now, we all know that but when push comes to shove we all seem to have our different excuses as to why we can’t. We say things like, “Well, you don’t understand what he did to me!” or, “You didn’t feel the pain when she cheated on me!” or “No, no, no you don’t get the things I’ve been through and what so and so did to me and how they destroyed my life.” or “You don’t understand, he raped me when I was a kid and no one knows. I will not forgive him.”

Did God say “Forgive your brother and sister, unless they hurt you REALLY badly. If they hurt you, you MUST forgive them. But if they REALLY REALLY hurt you then you may choose if you want to forgive them or not” Did he say that? No!

I understand that marriage is going to be hard and that it’s not easy for you and I know that I don’t live with the same person you do and I know that I never fully will understand. BUT, I do know that there is someone who always understands. He understands everything and he knows how you feel and he even knows the person you live with and he still commands you to love your wife.

You need to cherish your wife. Purse your wife. HELP your wife in YOUR house. Stop telling her it’s your house and your money. It’s YOUR house TOGETHER and you BOTH are in charge of caring for it. Stop blaming her and blowing up at her for no reason. Believe it or not SHE has to live with you just as much as you have to live with her. Why don’t you do your family and yourself a favor and read the bible and hear the commands that God tells you as a husband and do them. Don’t make excuses and say “you don’t understand” just do it!

I am so sick of bitter married men. The problem is not your wife. Stop asking God to fix her attitude and realize that she’s acting the way she is because you’re a freaking jerk. Start being a Godly man and stop being a little PMSing girl about it! Ask your wife what you can do to change, ask her what you can do to communicate to her better. Ask her what you can do FOR HER. DIES to yourself and LOVE her just as Christ died for his church and loved us. It’s in the bible. READ IT!

I’m going to say it one more time. If you can’t keep your wife and kids in love with you, you are not in the will of God. That’s it! No questions asked. If you are someone that your family is embarrassed about and someone who your wife doesn’t even want to have sex with, you are NOT a man of God.

I took Romans 12:9-18 and changed the words around and made it about how a husband should treat his wife. I used verses from other places in the bible and put them all into this one paragraph. This is a good starting place for how I believe God instructs you as a man to treat your wife. If you don’t believe me and think I’m just putting words in the bible then by all means, please, for once, study it yourself!

I’m going to say it one more time. If you can’t keep your wife and kids in love with you, you are not in the will of God. That’s it! No questions asked. If you are someone that your family is embarrassed about and someone who your wife doesn’t even want to have sex with, you are NOT a man of God.

Your love must be real. Hate what is evil, and hold on to what is good. Stick up for and protect your wife under all circumstances. Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Give her more honor than you want for yourself. Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart. That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as part of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body, but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, the Church. We are to care for our body, our wife. Be joyful because you have hope. Don’t mope around the house and talk about what you think you need to be happy. Be patient when dinner isn’t on time. Pray for your wife! Share with God’s people who need help. Bring strangers in need into your home and feed them. When you are out of food, don’t make your wife go to the store to get more. Get out of your ugly bath robe that no one (including your wife) wants to see you in and go to the store for a change. Wish your wife well when she hurts you; wish her well and do not curse her. Share joy with what your wife shares joy in and be sad with her when she is sad. Live in peace with each other. Don’t brag about how smart you are. Do whatever you can to ensure peace in your household. Finally, DO NOT lust after another woman. Honor your wife by making a covenant with your eyes and allowing her to trust you while you go away for a weekend. Don’t flirt and say you have a flirty personality, love sisters without flirting. Have self control and keep it in your pants.